When You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going
For a long time, I haven't known what to say but now my thoughts are becoming clearer. Hopefully, they may help someone and, perhaps, you. I haven't kept a diary of the events since my cancer diagnosis in late 2022, perhaps because I was in denial about it. Even writing that sentence is hard, because it's confirming and accepting the most traumatising event of my life. Of course, I didn't want it to be the case. I haven't wanted to chronicle my experience during treatment or my continuing recovery from it, perhaps because I've felt that to do so would jeopardise it. Recovery is not guaranteed and the truth is that the treatment was so brutal, I am now more susceptible to illness than ever. I'm in a precarious position and you don't look down and take stock when you're walking a tightrope, you focus only on the next step. You don't look back and you don't look beyond the step in progress. For some reason, the influence of that fear is now out...